BE LIKE WATER
St. Padre Pio is an Italian priest who was known for his charity and love of the people around him. He believed and counseled people to “Pray, hope and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” I love this quote. The “Pray, hope and don’t worry” part of the quote stays where I can see it in my home.
I have always been a private person. I don’t think there has ever been a time when I wanted to share intimate parts of my life with others. But what has been on my heart lately, is that if I can share some of my story with other women, and if it helps just one, that is what I am supposed to do. And I will be grateful.
My story starts like everyone else’s … I was born to a mother and father.
I have siblings – 3 in fact. I was the baby of the family. We grew up in a small town in Indiana and I enjoyed playing outside with my brother and being the tomboy that I was. I was a very finicky eater and had NO appreciation for the garden and the vegetables my family grew. I lived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Down The Road, My Journey Takes A Turn…
In 2017, I had been with Fit Chicks for 5 years. Even longer if you count the years before the studio became Fit Chicks. I was healthy. I was actively doing my part to be healthy. It was Labor Day Weekend 2017 when I was diagnosed with colon cancer. Since being diagnosed, I have had 3 surgeries over the past 4 years and 36 rounds of chemotherapy. I am now back in remission. I still do a maintenance program that involves chemotherapy. The days directly after chemo are hard, but the days eventually get better. These last 4 years have been the hardest of my life. It has been hard for my husband and my 2 kids. Faith, family, friends and the Fit Chicks community have kept me encouraged and have kept me going. I don’t want the focus of my story to be the cancer. I want to share and talk about some important lessons that I’ve learned on this journey.
There Happened To Be A Nurse In The Room …
I had my first surgery in 2017 and after I got home, I developed a slight infection. I had to go in to the hospital for a procedure. The doctor’s office that I was dealing with at the time was not the most helpful. While I was at the hospital doing my procedure, the doctor’s office who sent me for the procedure, called and wanted me to come to their office as soon as the procedure was completed. I asked the office if the doctor could come to me rather than me go to him, as I was just finishing the procedure and was still in the hospital. Their office was only 5 minutes from the hospital where I was. There happened to be a nurse in the room with me during the call and when I got off of the phone, she said “Oh no! You need to get rid of that doctor!” She shared her story of being a breast cancer survivor and how she had to advocate for herself on her journey of healing. She told me, “do not put up with things that do not seem right.” She told me to ask questions and to ask for second opinions. She said if the doctor seems to not like the fact that I am asking questions or asking for a second opinion, then that doctor is not the right one for you. She told me to advocate for myself. I took her words to heart. Now, I question everything and I ask for second opinions.
Just Enough To Get In My Own Way …
September 2020, … I knew something was wrong. My blood work and labs were not coming back right and the doctor I was seeing kept telling me everything was okay. They were attributing the test results to something that was acceptable or at least wasn’t cause for alarm. I knew in my gut that something was wrong. I continued to push and ask questions. As it turns out, I had another surgery, and the cancer was there! This was an example of me not only listening to my body, but also fighting to get the doctor to search further. This was the first time that I practiced advocating for myself. I think about, and ask myself, why was that so hard for me to do? Why was it hard for me to ask for what I needed … to ask for clarity and understanding … to ask for a second opinion so we could be sure about what we were dealing with and the ensuing medical decisions? The answer was that I was getting in my own way. It was difficult in part, because I would question “are these the right questions to ask.” “Are these questions things I should know or that I already have the answers to?” “Do I sound stupid by asking these questions?” I don’t ask myself these questions anymore. I know longer second guess myself. All of my questions are now directed at my doctors.
Not A New Year’s Resolution … But A Single Word
I think about back when I used to do New Year’s resolutions. I had a girlfriend who gave me a book one year that talked about rather than setting a New Year’s resolution, choose a word that becomes your focus for the year. I thought about it and I wasn’t sure what I wanted my word to be.
One night I woke up in the middle of night and the word TONE came to me. I thought about it some and the word didn’t make much sense to me in terms of choosing it as a word to focus on for the year. So I let it go. But then the day came where I was supposed to choose my word. The word TONE came to me again. So I decided to go with the word TONE and I would wait to see what came from it. Some time later, a thought came to me about the word TONE. I realized that my family often tells me that I have a TONE when I speak. I never thought I had a TONE and thought I was just speaking normally. They said, “Oh no, no, no .. there is more there than what you are saying!”
So, I thought maybe I’m supposed to work on my TONE of voice and project more positivity and think before I speak. Another thought came that maybe TONE has to do with my body. I thought what would that mean to focus on the TONE of my body? It would mean paying attention to what I am focused on, my strength, my nutrition, health, well-being, mindfulness, spirituality, … all these things started popping up. Then another thought came. It was SET THE TONE … what type of TONE do I want to set or present … was it “joy”, “just be you” or “show yourself and your fun side.”
The word TONE stuck with me that whole year … and then later in the year after getting my diagnosis of cancer … I thought, “OH! I needed this word in my life for this time!” I remember thinking, I chose that word to be my focus for the year, even though it did not make sense to me at the time. I accepted it because it kept coming to me. I accepted it as “my word.” Now it is very clear to me that I needed this word, TONE, to SET THE TONE for my life in this part of my journey.
So, the mind-set, the TONE that I set for myself is that I AM STILL HEALTHY. My doctor tells me all the time, and I believe, that I am healthier now than I’ve ever been. Except for dealing with this pesky thing called cancer. My doctors tell me “DO NOT LET THE CANCER DEFINE WHO YOU ARE.”
What I Would Tell My Younger Self And My Older Self…
EVERYTHING falls back to self-care. You can’t be there for the people in your life unless you are there for yourself first. START WHERE EVER YOU ARE – IF YOU ARE YOUNGER OR OLDER, IT DOESN’T MATTER, JUST START!
Mental well-being needs attention as much as your physical well-being. Take time to do things YOU like to do. Step away from technology or things that are negative and drain you – this includes people in your life too.
Physical well-being … find something, ANYTHING just to get you moving. It can change your health and it can change your ability to focus, as well as your outlook on life.
Spirituality … whether it is reading scripture or meditating, … take time to BE STILL.
Be kind, be respectful, try not to judge, … live in the moment and focus on the day.
Always advocate for yourself and your health. Don’t let yourself get in the way of taking care of yourself.
Be Like Water …
Lastly, I want to share something a doctor once told me. He told me to “be like water.” And I said, what do you mean by that? He said, well think about it, “what does water do when it runs into an obstacle?” It turns, it shifts, and moves around and past the obstacle. It finds a way to keep going. Work to find ways to make life work for you no matter your circumstances, no matter how busy you think you are, or how much you think you don’t have time, or you can’t because you won’t do it right or well enough. Be like water by accepting your reality and what’s there and look for ways to keep moving forward. For me that means accepting that cancer is a part of me. That means I have to make some adjustments in my life. For example, I may not be able to work out as much or even like I used to, but I still do when I’m able. For me, it also means accept people for the way they are. We can’t change people. All we can do is choose to support them in what they do or choose not to support what they do. And we can also choose to love them. Another thing my doctor stressed was the importance of sleep, good nutrition, ways to reduce your stress, slowing down, focusing on the moment and what is present. I understood everything he was telling me because I had learned all of this from Fit Chicks. This knowledge resonated with me hearing it at Fit Chicks and resonates that much more with me now.
My New Years wish for everyone who reads my story is that my mantras, “BE STILL, … PRAY, HOPE AND DON’T WORRY” and “BE LIKE WATER” fills each of you with a new resolve or renewed resolve, to care and advocate for yourselves in every aspect of your lives, especially with your health.
Hoping you are strengthened and encouraged … to BE LIKE WATER …
Best,
Mindy
P.S. Not being able to workout like I used to has also meant that even though I may not be able to use my Fit Chicks membership the way I’d like to, maybe I can help give someone else, who could use help with their fitness, nutrition and well-being, an opportunity to move forward on their journey. In talking with the team at Fit Chicks, I learned about the Naomi Fund and I want to make others who read my story aware of it as well. The Naomi Fund was created for the purposes of allowing women to share what they have received and experienced at Fit Chicks by paying it forward through donations of studio sessions to the Naomi Fund. In doing so, this will help keep another woman from having her journey interrupted by an unexpected hardship. If you’d like to learn more about the Naomi Fund, reach out to the team at Fit Chicks.
